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"A bad day for your ego is a good day for your soul."
~Jillian Michaels~
A very familiar conversation this morning crossed my path again. A very discouraged friend began with,…
Comments
Sarah
I’ve used drugs my entire life and I really do believe that drugs are my only solution to beating this depression bullshit. I really do want Jamison looking down on me proud and happy that I’ve overcome drugs and alcohol - but without seeing his face and his eagerness to please anyone he came across - I don’t know if I can really do anything more for myself.
I understand that I need to be sober for myself and all that, but I really don’t see a point in anything anymore. I know I can be sober, because I had just over 2 years clean when Jamie was born. I was clean off it all - drugs AND alcohol - but now I’m living by myself and don’t really have friends. Sure I have “friends” who I’ve met in treatment and whatnot, but ever since being in treatment, those “friends” aren’t friends after I leave.
I want to be a happy man and live a happy life - but without my fiancé and Jamison - I truly don’t see a point in sobriety anymore. I’m sure I’ll meet people being in treatment again, but are they going to be just my friends while I’m here in treatment and then never talk again after I leave, or will I meet true people who’ll want to continue talking afterwards?
I’m sorry for bitching and moaning about this shit - but I want to please not only myself forever - but I really want Jamison looking down on me proud and happy seeing me push through everything.
AOG
Sarah
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