Healthy Communication Starts Now
Healthy communication is key to “whole family” recovery. But it requires members to be vulnerable and honest—and that can be scary. No more walking on eggshells or yelling to be heard. No more shutting down or avoiding the topic. Effective communication is balanced and respectful. It can be a lighthearted “How was your day?” check-in. Or it might be a deep and honest conversation about thoughts and feelings.
Tips for Effective Communication
Communication affects how we solve problems, resolve conflicts, and build trust. Here are some tips you can use for effective communication:
- Be positive. Try to lean into the positive way of talking about things rather than talking about the negatives. Focus on what you’d like to have happen rather than what has been going wrong. Offering solutions is always a helpful step in communication.
- Be patient. Choose your timing carefully and avoid trying to have meaningful conversations when emotions are really hot, when you’re in the middle of a crisis, or when the person using substances is emotionally escalated.
- Be present. Make time to talk with others and give them your undivided attention. Put down your phone; turn off the TV, music, computer, and other devices.
- Be engaged. Listen respectfully, without interrupting or weighing in. If something is unclear, repeat what you think you heard. Ask for clarification if you don’t understand.
- Be sensitive. Pay attention to feelings and body language. Let your loved one know how you feel and encourage them to do the same. Try to avoid the urge to name-call, blame, or raise your voice.
- Be self-aware. Try to speak calmly and use “I” language. See how they respond if you own up to your part of the issue; hopefully they will do the same. Taking some responsibility is an important part of cooperation.
- Be honest. If we’re expecting it from others, we need to expect it from ourselves.
- Be quick. Deal with the current issue without going back to address past hurts.
- Be consistent. Practice open and honest communication on an ongoing basis instead of waiting until a crisis hits. It will become more natural the more you do it.
How do you think effective communication can help rebuild trust in a family?
© 2023 Hazelden Publishing
The Daily Pledge is a free, online social community, made possible by the Hazelden Betty Ford Institute for Recovery Advocacy, that provides a source of support and fellowship to those touched by or concerned about the disease of addiction. The Daily Pledge provides healthy daily activities on the home page, which are viewable to all who might benefit from seeing others "recover out loud." This community's members include both people with addiction and family and friends of people with addiction. Our experience is that people with diverse experiences are able to help each other in unique and valuable ways. Learn more about the community by exploring the pages linked in the menu.
