Mutual Support Groups: Recovery Is Rooted in Connection

People in recovery who participate in mutual support groups find a source of tremendous wisdom through the shared experiences of their peers. Fellowship and peer support can help your loved one with their recovery goals, particularly by building connections within their communities. Participating in mutual support meetings is proven to help people sustain and strengthen their recovery in the long term.

There are several types of mutual support groups. Perhaps best known are peer-led Twelve Step programs. Other programs are led by trained facilitators. Some are designed by the individual; some simply provide guideposts rather than a program for the recovery journey. Within each program, meetings can have different formats or be held for a specific group of people (e.g., men or women or gender-diverse people, beginners, family members, etc.), and meeting dynamics themselves can differ. Your loved one may find one meeting suits them well, whereas another may not. They may be drawn to a particular type of program, or their treatment counselors may have recommended a specific program for them. Most programs offer online and in-person meetings. They are free and supported by donations.

Understanding a Loved One’s Mutual Support Program

Each path through treatment and recovery is as unique as the person who takes it. Your loved one might participate in a mutual support program along with their other therapies. It can be unsettling when someone you care about begins to attend meetings. You might feel left out, as if the person has joined an exclusive club. More likely, however, you will feel a sense of hope and relief. You will see that the person is making a dramatic life transformation—abstaining from alcohol or other drugs and building a healthy body, mind, and spirit.

Taking time to learn the philosophy and language of the program in which your loved one participates can help you understand this transformation. Once you understand the principles of that group’s recovery program, they will seem less like cult mantras and more like the simple guidelines they are.

What are Twelve Step programs like?

People who have participated in a Twelve Step program view addiction as a lifelong disease and follow the Twelve Steps as their design for living. Group meetings offer a safe place for them to share their own unique experience, strength, and hope and to receive support and fellowship.

While the program is neither religious nor mystical, it is considered spiritual in that members realize they are not the center of the universe. A “Higher Power” is at work, but that Higher Power can be defined however one chooses. Love, God, nature, the conscience of the group, the positive energy among caring people, or an unnamed sense of spirit are all examples of Higher Powers.

The Twelve Steps start from a basic acceptance that we can control and change only ourselves and our reactions to people and events. Twelve Step participants reflect on their lives and honestly acknowledge the ways they have hurt themselves and others. When they are ready, they attempt to make amends to all persons they have harmed. Trust, acceptance, love, goodwill, and forgiveness are key elements of a Twelve Step program.

What kinds of Twelve Step programs are available?

Twelve Step programs are not limited to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) groups. They can be any program that adapts the Twelve Steps of AA to fit the particular needs of a mutual support group. Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Gamblers Anonymous, Nicotine Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous, Medication-Assisted Recovery Anonymous (MARA), Al-Anon, and Adult Children of Alcoholics are all examples of groups with a Twelve Step foundation.

The Twelve Steps have also been incorporated into programs that center on a specific religious or spiritual practice, such as the Wellbriety Movement, Celebrate Recovery, Millati Islami, AA Agnostica, and Y12SR (Yoga of 12-Step Recovery). Each of these programs uses different versions of the Twelve Steps, which have been adapted to focus on each group’s principles, as the foundations for their program.

What kinds of self-directed programs are available, and what are they like?

Some mutual support programs encourage participants to design their own recovery program. Among these are All Recovery, In the Rooms, LifeRing®, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), Self-Management and Recovery Training (SMART) Recovery®, and Women for Sobriety.

All Recovery offers online meetings hosted by the Minnesota Recovery Connection for anyone looking for mutual support. These meetings are peer led, with a loosely structured format focused on strengths, support, and gratitude. There is no program to follow, and people using any recovery pathway are welcome, as are their family members and other allies.
In the Rooms is a free online recovery tool for people who are traveling, don’t live near a recovery program, or need remote support for any reason. It offers online meetings for people all over the world recovering from addiction and related issues. Members create their own online profile, which allows them to be as anonymous or as public as they wish. The site hosts many different types of meetings: Twelve Step, non–Twelve Step, and others that are exclusive to the tool, offering many pathways to recovery.
LifeRing® is a program in which members create their own recovery plan. There are no “steps,” the give-and-take of conversation is encouraged, and members can expect to engage in nonjudgmental discussions with their peers. The program is based on the principles of Sobriety, Secularity, and Self-Direction. It supports all people in recovery, no matter where they are on their journey to an abstinence-based life.
SOS organizations are autonomous groups in which members discuss their experiences and insights. They share information and encouragement in friendly, open, anonymous group meetings. Each group works out its own structure and format. SOS maintains that addiction and recovery are separate from other parts of life.
SMART Recovery® is a facilitator-led program grounded in cognitive-behavioral therapy and relaxation techniques. Through its 4-Point Program, participants learn how to (1) build and maintain motivation to abstain from substances, (2) cope with urges, (3) manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and (4) live a positive, balanced, and healthy life. Participants learn self-reliance as they design and practice their own recovery plan and attend meetings.
Women for Sobriety is specifically for women overcoming substance use disorders. Their New Life Program uses positive reinforcement, cognitive strategies (positive thinking), “letting the body help” (through relaxation, meditation, nutrition, and exercise), and group involvement (support) to address women’s challenges with self-worth and self-confidence. One suggestion for practicing the program is to choose one of the 13 Acceptance Statements to focus on each day. This program provides women with a way to practice empowering, secular, and life-affirming principles that address their unique challenges.

Are there programs with a religious or spiritual grounding that don’t use the Twelve Steps, and what are they like?

Some recovery programs are grounded in religious traditions or spiritual practices that aren’t based on the Twelve Steps. Among them are Addictions Victorious, Buddhist Recovery Network, Recovery Dharma, and Refuge Recovery.

Addictions Victorious is a network of Christian support groups in which members see Jesus as their Higher Power. Members don’t follow the Twelve Steps but study the Bible, engage in intercessory prayer, and provide support for each other. They hold in-person meetings in several states, and meetings for loved ones as well.
Buddhist Recovery Network is a collection of groups that use Buddhist teachings and practices to help people in recovery. They list online and in-person meetings (which include Recovery Dharma and Refuge Recovery meetings) all over the world. Featured are an online meeting that explores a different Buddhist program each week and meetings for specific populations, such as Black, Indigenous, LGBTQ+, or nonbinary individuals.
Recovery Dharma is a peer-led community that believes Buddhist teachings (the Dharma) can be central in recovery from addiction. Meetings are structured around the principles and practices of Buddhist meditation, the Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path, nurturing community, and engaging with wise friends and mentors.
Refuge Recovery is a Buddhist-oriented, peer-led recovery program that requires only trusting the process and doing the work of recovery. It provides a systematic approach to recovering from addiction. Meetings include readings of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path to recovery, meditation, and sharing. The aim of practicing this program is a lifelong sense of well-being and happiness.

Are there programs that address physical health and healing as well as addiction?

The Phoenix and Yoga for 12-Step Recovery (Y12SR) are for people who want to integrate their recovery with physical health. People who have experienced trauma may find these programs especially beneficial.

The Phoenix partners with fitness clubs, CrossFit gyms, and running clubs across the country to combine physical fitness with recovery support and fellowship. Events and classes increase resilience and build community for those who want to blend their recovery with health and wellness. A sampling of classes includes basketball, book clubs, camping, kettlebells, meditation, rock/ice climbing, and water sports.
Y12SR is a holistic program that brings together tools to help both the mind and the body. It is intended to assist people in their Twelve Step recovery program, not replace it. Each class includes a reading, group discussion, and a trauma-informed yoga flow. It is especially helpful for those in recovery from substance use disorder and trauma.

Here are some ways you can learn more about mutual support programs:

Attend the family program at the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. HBFF offers a family program where you can learn about addiction, the Twelve Steps, mutual support programs, and how recovery affects the whole family. This experience will teach you how to navigate the recovery of your loved one while still taking care of yourself. Although it takes time and may cost something to attend, it will be an invaluable experience and time well spent. In some cases, financial scholarships may also be available.

Ask questions. Your loved one in recovery will probably be more than happy to tell you about their mutual support program and how it works. Some are involved in more than one program.

Visit an open meeting. Certain mutual support meetings are open to people with or without an addiction. Locate and attend an open meeting in your area. Talk with people afterward. You’ll learn a lot by listening to others. All Recovery, LifeRing, The Phoenix, Refuge Recovery, Y12SR, and most Twelve Step programs hold open meetings.

Read the program’s literature. Most programs publish guidebooks or brochures, and many recommend literature published elsewhere. The main guide for Twelve Step programs is Alcoholics Anonymous, also known as the Big Book. This book will give you an overview of what the Twelve Steps are and how the program works.

Attend support group meetings specifically for family members. The Twelve Steps help us understand that we can’t control the person experiencing addiction or the disorder. Al-Anon, one mutual support group for relatives and friends of alcoholics, teaches members to take responsibility for themselves and to let go of responsibility for the alcoholic. There are also support groups for relatives and friends of people addicted to other drugs. Addictions Victorious, Recovery Dharma, SOS, and SMART Recovery also have support groups for friends and family members. To find a mutual support group for you, check the websites of these programs.

The Daily Pledge is a free, online social community, made possible by the Hazelden Betty Ford Institute for Recovery Advocacy, that provides a source of support and fellowship to those touched by or concerned about the disease of addiction. The Daily Pledge provides healthy daily activities on the home page, which are viewable to all who might benefit from seeing others "recover out loud." This community's members include both people with addiction and family and friends of people with addiction. Our experience is that people with diverse experiences are able to help each other in unique and valuable ways. Learn more about the community by exploring the pages linked in the menu.