Why Is It Important to Talk about Relapse?
As a loved one progresses through treatment, hope for their healthy future builds. And it should. But it’s also important to acknowledge that both the person in recovery and family members can return to unhealthy behaviors. If this happens, it might be helpful to frame your loved one’s return to use as the reemergence of symptoms of their disease: addiction. Recognizing this helps minimize shame and presents opportunities for both parties to learn from these experiences.
Thinking about relapse as a possibility allows family members to be prepared to respond calmly and intentionally. When family members cope with their own reactions in healthier ways, it offers positive modeling and helps maintain and strengthen the relationship with the person misusing substances. When family members can avoid catastrophizing, reengaging their loved one with treatment and recovery is more likely to happen sooner. Relapses are NOT inevitable. But if they happen, they can provide opportunities to respond and intervene in more helpful ways.
If you suspect your loved one is at risk for relapse—if they act moody, ignore their self-care, or skip appointments and meetings—respond with respectful, open, honest, and calm communication. Avoid jumping to conclusions and offer judgment-free support and love. Ask your loved one to take a walk with you or engage in some “trigger-free" activity. You may even offer to go to an open Twelve Step meeting with them. And remember to get the support you need from those who will understand your worry and fears. Just because your loved one may have returned to their old addictive behavior doesn’t mean you have to go back to yours.
If your loved one returns to using substances and then asks you for help, aim to stay calm and refrain from shaming or blaming. Then, encourage the person to stop immediately and remove themself from any risky situation. Have the number of your loved one’s sponsor or mentor, counselor, or recovery support person handy, as well as the number and address of the nearest treatment facility. While it’s hard to think about the possibility of relapse, it’s also important to have a plan in place.
What safeguards and measures do you think would be wise to have in place to prevent or deal with relapse?
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